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Post by Fugazi on Aug 1, 2019 14:02:22 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 3, 2019 9:21:20 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 4, 2019 9:00:18 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 5, 2019 9:50:09 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 5, 2019 12:14:52 GMT -8
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Post by redbeard on Aug 8, 2019 7:43:24 GMT -8
Don't fuck with us greybeards! |
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Post by redbeard on Aug 8, 2019 7:57:02 GMT -8
Ummm...yes and...ummm...yes! |
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 8, 2019 8:09:00 GMT -8
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."
The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am, replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."
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Post by sharkhaywood on Aug 8, 2019 8:38:04 GMT -8
Don't fuck with us greybeards!
Outstanding! |
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 8, 2019 10:08:17 GMT -8
This is what happens when you park in Baltimore overnight  |
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 8, 2019 11:24:48 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 10, 2019 13:49:49 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 11, 2019 12:17:00 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 11, 2019 15:16:13 GMT -8
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Post by cjelli on Aug 11, 2019 16:07:40 GMT -8
This is a castrated version of a really good joke, attributed to Henry Kissinger explaining shuttle diplomacy:
– Oh! It is a never-failing old Jewish method. Let me give you an example. Suppose you want to marry Rockefeller’s daughter to a lad from a Siberian village.
– How would you do that?
– Easy. I go to a Siberian village, find there a young man and ask him, “Would you like to marry an American Jew?”
He says, “Why?! We’ve got awesome girls here!”
“Well, but she is the daughter of a billionaire.”
He goes: “Oh! This changes things…”
Then I go to Switzerland, walk into a large bank’s board meeting and ask, “How would you like to have a simple Siberian man to be your bank’s President?”
“Oh, hell no!”
“What if I told you he was Rockefeller’s son-in-law?
“Oh! This changes things…”
So then I go see Rockefeller and ask, “Would you like your daughter to marry a Russian peasant?”
“What do you mean?! Everyone in my family is in banking.”
“Funny you should mention that, he is actually a Swiss bank President.”
“Oh! This changes things… Susie, come here, my child. Mr. Kissinger found you a good husband. He is the president of a large Swiss bank.”
“Bah! All big bankers are punies or gays!”
And I say, “Well, this one is a strong Siberian hunk.”
“Oh! This changes things…”
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 12, 2019 15:14:27 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 12, 2019 15:40:11 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 13, 2019 13:26:27 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 13, 2019 14:50:46 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 14, 2019 10:28:05 GMT -8
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2019 12:51:16 GMT -8
Now that’s a damn good joke! TRO |
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 16, 2019 10:00:32 GMT -8
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Post by redbeard on Aug 16, 2019 16:48:41 GMT -8
Hey! I've done that before! It worked when it had to!👍👍 |
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Post by redbeard on Aug 16, 2019 16:51:21 GMT -8
Oh yeah... exactly what you're thinking...😂😂😂
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 19, 2019 15:10:54 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 20, 2019 18:39:45 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 21, 2019 10:51:08 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 22, 2019 14:45:19 GMT -8
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Post by Fugazi on Aug 22, 2019 15:20:07 GMT -8
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Post by carolinasharksfan on Aug 22, 2019 17:05:49 GMT -8
Okay...I have to remember not to look at this thread when I’m trying to balance a drink and a cigar while standing on the beach. Took me a couple of minutes to stop choking/laughing. I didn’t spill my drink or drop the cigar though  |
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